The Turnbuckle Brigade — Saving the world, one suplex at a time. A serial in fifteen cards, by Jason Baldwin & Bobby Henwood. Art by Walter Vasquez.

The Turnbuckle Brigade — Saving the world, one suplex at a time. A serial in fifteen cards, by Jason Baldwin & Bobby Henwood. Art by Walter Vasquez. Top Secret.
Card No. 6 · Wednesday, November 11, 2026

Thirty Days at Sea

Chapter 11 — The Iron Mask

Thirty meters under the Norwegian Sea, the German U-Boat rode the black water like a bullet in a rifled barrel. The hull ticked and groaned, every shudder a reminder that the world wanted to crush the crew inside like beer cans. In the command center, Dr. Viktor Metallgeist ignored the threat of instant death and instead worried over his ancient books and the peculiarities of Norse grammar.

His workspace was an officer’s mess converted into a private sanctum—bare metal walls, a single swing-arm lamp, and a table bolted to the deck. Arrayed before him: vellum scrolls, bound codices, and a sheaf of onion-skin maps annotated in three colors of ink. The lamp threw deep shadows, making Metallgeist look less like a man and more like a skeleton understudying for the Reaper.

He traced the runes on the page with one finger, then paused to copy a diagram into his own leather-bound notebook. Every so often, he muttered a phrase in Latin, then a correction in high German. The words crackled through the compartment like sparks from a downed wire.

Behind him, four Eisen Verfolger stood at attention, silent and motionless. The masks gave their faces a permanent sneer, the eye lenses black as pits. Each man—if they were men—wore a greatcoat stitched with leather, the insignia on their arms old and faded, the medals below gleaming with fresh polish. Their boots never squeaked, never shifted. Only the slow, wet rhythm of their respirators gave away any sign of life.

Every time a regular crewman entered the command center, his gaze slid right off the Eisen Verfolger as if they were an optical illusion. Men in gas masks made everyone uneasy, even in a war where “uneasy” was standard issue.

At the forward chart table, Der Leiter plotted their course. His hands were white-gloved, and he drew the lines with a draftsman’s precision, never missing a degree. On the map, the U-boat’s route curved north, then straight for the mouth of a Norwegian fjord. The destination was circled three times, annotated in Metallgeist’s precise, spidery hand: “Midgard Entry Point—do not deviate.”

A red indicator lamp blinked, bathing the room in a faint, arterial glow. “Depth 60 meters,” announced the watch officer. The air got colder, the steel groaned a new note. Somebody sneezed aft, but nobody in the command center reacted.

Metallgeist did not look up. “Another six hours, yes?” he called, voice carrying without force. “If we don’t catch an escort’s tail, we make it with time to spare.”

Der Leiter replied with a click of heels and a curt, “Jawohl.” He was a man who never wasted words or motion.

Metallgeist licked his lips, smiled at his books. “The Allies think they chase us. In fact, we herd them, like children. The device will not be theirs.”

One of the Eisen Verfolger cocked his head, as if processing the statement, then resumed perfect stillness.

The ship’s cook entered, bearing a tin of cold potatoes and brined herring. He set the tray beside Metallgeist, who ignored it. The cook backed out, eyes never once settling on the gas-masked watchers. Nobody wanted to know if the Eisen Verfolger ate, or what they sounded like under the mask.

Metallgeist pored over the map, then tapped a finger to the circled mouth of the fjord. “Soon,” he whispered, “the power of Thor will fuel the Führer’s army. Not superstition, not a myth—science. The science of the old gods. Only the weak believe in magic.”

The Eisen Verfolger did not respond. If they understood, nothing in the lenses showed it.

Der Leiter crossed to Metallgeist, saluted. “We are in position. Your orders?”

“Surface just before midnight. Prepare landing teams. I want the artifact in my hands by sunrise.”

“Jawohl.”

“And Leiter—” Metallgeist’s voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “Do not underestimate the enemy. There is talk of special teams. American. Some of them—” He smiled, teeth gray and sharp. “—not what they appear.”

Der Leiter’s eyes flickered. “Understood.”

He pivoted, issued crisp commands to his men. The crew moved with a new urgency, adjusting trim and ballast, prepping for the breach. The Eisen Verfolger turned in unison, boots silent, and disappeared down the forward ladder.

Alone with his books, Metallgeist snatched a herring from the tin and ate it whole, bones and all. The salt burned his tongue, but he relished the sensation. There was work to do, and the next day would bring glory or annihilation.

The U-boat crept north, a steel ghost in the dark. Above, the British ship steamed toward the same fjord, blissfully unaware of the sharks below.

Soon the ocean would boil. Soon, Metallgeist thought, we see who is predator and who is prey.

He closed the book and let the shadows wash over him, already savoring the coming slaughter.

Chapter 12 — Thirty Days

The training room was two levels below deck and reeked of old mats, bleach, and ancient sweat. If there was ever a more perfect place for a wrestling clinic, El Aguila de la Muerte didn’t know it. He perched on the center of the mat, bright green mask shining under a single jury-rigged lamp, and waved for Frank Zill and Benjamin Bradley to close in.

They did, Zill with all the enthusiasm of a man reporting for a root canal, Bradley bouncing on the balls of his feet and flexing his neck as if warming up for an Olympic trial.

Aguila clapped twice for attention, then produced one of his printed cards and held it up like a ring announcer presenting a title: THE HURRICANRANA. YOU KNOW IT. YOU DO NOT KNOW IT LIKE I DO.

He demonstrated in slow motion, kicking up and over a sandbag dummy, legs scissoring around its neck, twisting and planting the “opponent” face-first on the mat. The move was fluid, effortless. He landed on his knees and rose with a matador’s flourish.

He set the sandbag upright, clapped once, and pointed from the bag to Bradley: again. You try.

Bradley looked to Zill, seeking approval. Zill just shrugged and muttered, “Go ahead, champ.”

Bradley launched, got more height than expected, locked the sandbag with his thighs, and tumbled it end over end. His landing was rough—he nearly faceplanted—but Aguila caught his arm and steadied him. Aguila applauded, then framed Bradley’s hips with both hands and gave an emphatic double thumbs-up — the highest compliment a silent man could pay.

Bradley flushed, pleased. “I used to do gymnastic stuff. Just never told the guys.”

Aguila dealt a second card onto the mat: TELL THEM NOW. THE SECRET IS THE HIPS. IT IS ALL IN THE HIPS.

Now it was Zill’s turn.

He sized up the sandbag. His movement was clean, controlled, but there was no style in it, no give. He muscled the move, and the bag toppled like a downed telephone pole.

Aguila watched with the patience of a saint. Then he crossed to Frank, pressed one flat palm against the mat, then against Frank’s chest, then let both hands rise and float like paper on the wind. The lesson could not have been plainer if he’d printed it: you do not trust the mat. You do not trust anyone. Stop being the wall. Be the wind.

Zill rolled his eyes but tried again. Still stiff, but less so. This time he hit the mat with a thud and stayed there.

Bradley snorted. “Guess you’re not built for flight, Frank.”

Zill shot him a look that would have frozen spit in midair.

Aguila knelt beside Zill and produced a card he had clearly printed before the session, which was somehow worse: THE NAZIS EXPECT SOLDIERS. THEY DO NOT EXPECT A SHOW. He tapped the mat twice and let that be the whole lecture.

Zill grunted and pushed himself to his feet. “Whatever works,” he said.

Aguila looked at Bradley, then at Zill. Then he did something he had never done in front of them: he took the worn deck of printed cards from his gear bag and dealt three onto the mat, face up, slow, like a fortune teller who didn’t care for the fortune. THIS MOVE WAS TAUGHT TO ME IN TOKYO, BEFORE THE WAR. MY MENTOR WAS CALLED EIEN NO TOKAGE. IF YOU EVER MEET HIM, YOU WILL NOT NEED ME TO TELL YOU.

Bradley cocked his head. “He coming for us?”

Aguila shrugged, then laid two fingers against his own chest and left them there a beat too long.

The three stood in silence, sweat cooling on their necks.

After the session, Zill walked topside, shirt soaked, joints throbbing. The cold night air hit him like a sobering slap. He leaned against the ship’s rail and stared out at the Atlantic, which was nothing but blackness and shifting stars.

Bradley joined him, still bouncing a little from the adrenaline. He shivered, then reached into his jacket and pulled out a cigarette. He held the pack to Zill.

Zill took one, never looking at him. They lit up, exhaled together.

For a long time, nobody spoke. Just the sound of the wind and the faint thrum of the engines.

Then Bradley said, “You know, for the record, I’m not actually—” He trailed off, flicked ash over the side. “Never mind.”

Zill grunted. “Not actually what?”

Bradley looked straight ahead, eyes fixed on the horizon. “Not actually anything. George Jerry wrote the gimmick — act the part, sell the tickets, let the crowd hate whatever it wants to hate. Truth is, there’s nobody home in that department. Never was. Women, men — it’s all just applause I don’t need.”

Zill took a drag, said nothing.

Bradley laughed, but it was brittle. “My dad would have killed me if he was alive. My mom lights a candle for me every Sunday like I’m already dead. That’s the funny part.”

Zill exhaled, the smoke a perfect ghost in the night. “Doesn’t matter,” he said, voice flat.

Bradley bristled. “It matters to me.”

Zill turned, finally, and looked at Bradley with eyes hard as marbles. “You think the Nazis care what you want or don’t want? All they care about is the win. So stop worrying about the crowd and start worrying about the finish.”

Bradley looked wounded, then angry, then just tired. “You ever get tired of being an asshole, Frank?”

Zill flicked his cigarette into the dark. “Nope.”

They stood like that for another minute, enemies, teammates, something in between.

Far out on the horizon, a dark shape flickered. A periscope, maybe, or just the ghost of one. Zill watched it until it vanished.

He left Bradley at the rail, still staring at the water, alone with his secrets.

In the belly of the ship, El Aguila de la Muerte sat alone in the dark with the mask still on, lips moving behind the leather in silent Spanish. A prayer, or a promise.

Above, the Atlantic kept rolling, silent and cold.

Somewhere below, in the depths, something watched back.

The Royal Marines’ gym was a kingdom of hurt. Its walls were lined with battered canvas mats, punching bags that had ruptured and been stitched back together like Frankenstein’s monsters, and a row of medicine balls that weighed more than the cooks who rolled them out every morning. The air was thick with sweat, bleach, and the promise of violence.

Sergeant Haverchuck stood at the center, arms folded, shoes planted wide. He looked like a man who’d spent his whole life in rooms like this, and he didn’t bother to hide his contempt for the day’s proceedings.

“All right,” he barked, “you lot want to see how the Yanks do it? Let’s have a show. Pair up!”

The Marines lined one wall. Most had the lean, lethal build of career soldiers; a few were fresh recruits, all jaw and nerves. Opposite them, the wrestling team looked like a circus act: Zill with his bruised knuckles, Dottie cracking her knuckles one joint at a time, Wildman wearing a shirt two sizes too small. Bradley bounced on the spot, shadowboxing for the benefit of the onlookers. El Aguila de la Muerte stretched in a slow, animal way, never breaking eye contact with the Marines.

A corporal with cauliflower ears and a scar across his lip strutted out, fists up. He glanced at Dottie, then looked away—then back, unable to help himself. “Ladies first,” he jeered.

Dottie grinned, motioned him forward.

They circled, the room closing in with catcalls and laughter. The corporal feinted left, then came in fast with a jab. Dottie slipped it, grabbed his wrist, and bent it back. The crack was loud, a dry twig snapped in winter. The man dropped, clutching his hand, and blood sprayed from his nostrils where her palm strike had landed before the break.

The gym went dead silent. Dottie shook out her hand and stepped away, not bothering to hide her smile.

Haverchuck’s jaw twitched, but he didn’t say a word.

Next was Wildman, matched with a Marine lieutenant who looked like he bench-pressed his bunk for fun. The two locked up, and for a moment it was a stalemate—until Wildman twisted, dropped his weight, and scissored the man’s ankle in a figure-four. The lieutenant howled, tried to punch his way out, but Wildman just tightened the hold until the tendons creaked. Finally, the Marine tapped out, face gone purple.

“Jesus Christ,” someone whispered from the back.

Zill’s turn. He faced a hulking sergeant with a rugby player’s neck and a smile that said, “You’re already dead.” They squared off. The Marine went for a tackle, but Zill sprawled, got under him, and drove his shoulder up into the man’s throat. The sergeant staggered, eyes bulging. Zill reset, dropped him to one knee, then let go. The Marine coughed, spat blood, and laughed.

“Not bad, mate,” he wheezed. “Not bad at all.”

Meanwhile, Smith lurked by the door, notebook in hand. He scribbled something every time a wrestler won. When Haverchuck glanced his way, Smith snapped the book shut, grinning like he’d been caught cheating at poker.

Haverchuck regrouped the teams. The Marines eyed the wrestlers now with something new—not friendship, not quite, but a grudging respect.

“All right,” Haverchuck said. “That’s enough fun for one day. Form up!”

The two sides did. Dottie wiped her nose, flicked a spot of blood onto the mat.

Haverchuck turned to the wrestlers. “Not bad, for a bunch of circus freaks. But the real fight won’t be this easy. On shore, the Nazis play for keeps.”

Dottie shrugged. “So do we.”

Wildman flexed his fingers. “You keep the rules, Sergeant, or you throw them out?”

Haverchuck smiled, thin as a razor. “We keep them until we don’t.”

After the session, the gym broke up into pockets of chatter. The Marines clustered around the wrestling team, sharing smokes and bruises, trading tips. A rookie asked Dottie how she broke the corporal’s nose so fast; she showed him, gentle this time.

Smith sidled up to Haverchuck. “Told you they weren’t just for show,” he said.

Haverchuck shot him a look. “Wrestling may be staged, but the skills are real.”

Smith grinned, pocketed his notebook, and faded into the corridor.

The next morning, the wrestlers found their berths made up with fresh blankets. The mess hall had saved them the best sausages. Somebody, nobody said who, left a carton of American cigarettes on Dottie’s bunk.

That night, as the ship plowed north toward Norway, the line between “real” soldiers and “fake” ones grew harder to see.